Part One: Watch the video. Don’t listen…
(It really takes away from the visual smorgasbord of fail)
Part Two: Let’s Discuss. More accurately, I am going to write and you are going to read!
First of all, tragic, wasn’t it?!?!
Next, to catch the banter and fully appreciate the other A/V candy (it’s free by the way), I recommend turning on or unmuting the speakers for the remainder of this posting!
On to some highlights and quips…
Unicorn heads? Licking and making out with unicorn heads? Yeah, we get it Ke$ha, you are really pushing those Hipster boundaries, way to go! -.-
Sadly, this video really showcases the few facial expressions Ke$ha is able to believably pull off; dumb, I am trying to look like a sexy, and Jules from Cougar Town’s “finger guns”.
Seriously, did she go to Joe Tribbiani’s school for Smell-The-Farts acting?
If you don’t know what that is,bunnies, then read the script below and watch the video:
SCRIPT:
RACHEL: Did I miss it? Did I miss it?
JOEY: No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.
CHANDLER: Whoa, she's pretty.
JOEY: Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what?
MONICA: What?
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
CHANDLER: Oh, ok.
JOEY: There's my scene, there's my scene. "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
MRS. WALLACE: Is she gonna be all right?
JOEY: I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a (smell-the-fart) sub-cranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee.
CHANDLER: Nice!
RACHEL: That's great!
ROSS: Excellent!
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
Don’t believe me, look below:
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| Smell It |
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| I'm Sexy |
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| I'm Playful AND Sexy |
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| finger guns! |
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| I'm Dumb |
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| I'm Sexy |
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| I tilt my head back for more sexy... |
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| And, I do this repeatedly. |
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| Oh and I'm dumb again... |
Next, we move on to rainbow ray gun fights? Really?!?! The only person I know that can make ray guns truly funny is my mother.
Although, I will give her a small amount of credit, she does the smell-the-fart acting really well in these scenes even though unicorns were hurt in the making of them:
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| Smelling it, real good! |
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| emoting the smell... |
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| ACTING!!!!!!! |
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| Poor Unicorns: Death by their own rainbow design! |
Finally, I will mention the insertion of James Van Der Beek (a.k.a. van der douche and van der dead) to this FoF tragedy. James, did you really need the money THAT bad? I mean, I know Dawson’s Creek was like a million years ago and the few teen movies you made kind of “did you in” with the stereo-typing (Varsity Blues, Rules of Attraction, Scary Movie, etc.), but really?!?!?! Very little outside of being Dawson Leery has made even so much as a dent in the Hollywood stain of fame; brief one-episode appearances on some popular shows and, of course, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back rank up there with some of my favorites. I will give you credit that the Van Der Week stuff made me laugh.
This role, in Ke$ha’s Blow video, had me drawing parallels between you and Bob Saget.
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| Half Baked Saget |
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| Van Der Douche Blown |
Let me explain.
Bob Saget had Full House and Van Der Beek had Dawson’s Creek. Bob Saget had a reprise with America’s Funniest Home Videos and Van Der Beek had a few popular culture movies staples to keep him in the news. Bob Saget turned to comedy to keep his career moving while Van Der Beek had guest roles on television to keep him afloat. Finally, Bob Saget had a role in the cult-coveted “Half Baked”, which produced the “I sucked dick for coke” line of infamy. Van Der Beek has met that cult fame with this tragic FoF video. At least they can laugh at themselves.
So, in closing…
Have a great day and I hope you enjoyed the vent o’ FoF!
In addition, try not to listen to Ke$ha. It has been known to kill brain cells and immaculately combust into STD’s.
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