Full-On /Facepalm Stories

I thought I might share a little story about the Full-On Tragedies, Failures, and /Facepalms witnessed daily at the 7-11 (Or -4 Cafe, depending on who you ask) across from work.  Well, to be honest, I was going to try and round it all up in one all-inclusive paragraph type scenario, but I have reconsidered...then pondered some more...and finally decided on a few short stories instead.  Let me begin:

7-11 Quick Stop "Snatch" and Go!

As I stood out on the balcony of the second floor at work, which overlooks the 7-11 parking lot, I began surveying the surroundings.  At first, everything seemed kosher.  Or, so I thought.  Out walks this woman, who has been nicknamed "The Bank Teller", because after a few years in banking, she appeared as such.  Short, conventional haircut, $60.00 Sears skirt suit (Nothing against these, but you can tell the difference), close-toed pumps, modest make-up, etc.  She is carrying her coffee and other affects to her car, opens the door, and obviously drops something on the floor board.

Here is where it goes Full-On...

Most women, especially in skirts, choose to take the squatting or bending at the knee method for picking up dropped items.  Not this "Teller".  In a skirt, just barely at mid-thigh, she obviously thought it was a good idea to get herself bent over in the most obscene display of a Twister-like situation and then go further.  Digging for the golden something.

The skirt hit "mid-Vag" and creeped all the way up to full-on ass and pantyhose nudity.

Full-on fail for my morning and full-on fail for her parking lot/skirt wearing etiquette!!!

Toupee:  Never a Good Idea

Another fun thing about Florida is the old folks.  Sure, we will all be there one day, but in the blazing heat that is the Summer type weather, is it really necessary to toss on "the toup" before walking out of the house only to have it fall to the side because of the scalp sweat?

I have witnessed at least 5 "Full-on" slips in the month of May alone.  These offenders always seem to be sporting the Burt Reynolds 'stache as well.  Well, to be fair, some may be rockin' the Selleck, but it really is just about the same thing.

One is just a little more "Smokey and the Bandit" and the other is just a little more like "Magnum" (Generally due to the thickness and color)!

PDA'ing at the Pump 

Last, but certainly not least, we have the disgusting displays of (I guess) affection at the gas pumps.  It usually looks more like groping and is completely full-on fail for getting some gas.  I mean, I can go tasteless and mention something fail about pumping and grinding, but I think we all know it isn't necessary lol.

Regardless, please, keep it in your pants long enough to get back in the car...Next time I will snap a pic and then everyone will know who you are!!!

I hope you have enjoyed all these tales of woe, also, come back tomorrow and I will have some videos up from various friends and different sources.