Random Acts of FoF

So, during the last installment, I said that we would cover a bunch of randomness.  Some are random web goodies and others are some things I picked up along the way:

What's the weather like out there? "It's hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking." Well, tell me what it feels like. "Fool, it's hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot! It's so damn hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It's that hot! Do you know what I'm talking about?"-Robin Williams (Good Morning, Vietnam)

Very cool, but grammatically speaking, it could use a little work!

That is one sad and tired mouse right there!

May the 'Fourse' be with you....

Not sure which is the bigger bummer, the sticker or the very stereotypical red neck owner.....

...or his stereotypical red neck truck!

Worst display of road construction engineering ever!

 A little story to go with the last one.

My drive into town is completely FoF.  They have been doing road work in this area in some form or another since I was in high school, how long does it really take to make a road?!?!  Anyway, they decided to make one lane merge, the pass lane, which completely stupid because it is near a light.  During high traffic hours, you have every single d-bag in the world speeding in the merging pass lane just to, like a kindergartner, cut in line before the light.  Now, if you are one of the sad many stuck in the other lanes, which are being so rudely bottle-necked into a 30 minute "stop and go", you can imagine the road rage.  So, yes, I am failing (or FoFing) the engineers and whomever else is responsible for that hot and frustrating mess.

For now...

That is all.

Caucus on the Crapper

I sometimes think Mary Brown goes looking for this stuff.  She has, yet again, plopped herself right into another FoF.  Time to let her explain:

"I went to get my hair cut yesterday. I figured I'd potty before the event, and I headed into the bathroom.


Why?....Just tell me why there is a comfy chair in the bathroom? More importantly....why is it right across from the toilet. Who is going to caucus in the Bathroom? Please be advised this wasn't a grand bathroom. I was standing back against the door to get the picture."

<3 Mary Brown

Thanks, again, Miss Mary Brown!  Next entry is going to be a random assortment of web goodies and some randoms I have discovered!

Speedicath: Info-FoF On The Go!

This one is from my dear friend, Mary Brown:


"It's evening and I'm settling down to watch some brain candy TV. Man v. Food it is.


This commercial/infomercial comes on for Speedicath from (wait for it) Liberator Medical Supply Company. My mind begins to swirl:


1. Who is this marketed toward?
2. What in the WORLD is a Speedicath?


I listen and the questions just keep coming as the lady describes their discrete design and how you never touch the catheter itself. The questions continue:


3. Is this for those times when women can't just hop out of the car and pee when stuck in highway traffic. We can Speedicath ourselves and use the bottle our man used?
4. Is this a REAL medical problem that women with bladder issues need an infomercial for?
5. Are there closet cathers out there who just can't go into public because their current cathing tools are too bulky to take out? And YES I just made up two words in one sentence.


Then.....I get to the last page. Let me point out a few things:


1. The name of the company is Liberator Medical Supply (Liberate me from having to pee)
2. You get a FREE Compact Sample Pack with a MEMBERSHIP in the Catheter Care Program....WHAT IN THE WORLD kind of cult is this?
3. Their slogan is "You've been patient long enough". Which is why I think this is for those time that you are stuck on the highway, or there is a long line at the football game and you just can't stand it any longer. Whip out your handy dandy catheter and VOILA relief?


My head is still spinning....what is this? I'm afraid to go to the website."

<3 Mary Brown

 Well, you know me, I had to go look at the site...

On the go catheters for women on-the-go?  Perplexing and mind boggling all at the same time! =)

<3 The Happy Cynic!

Two-fer FoF

Tonight, I bring you one from me and one from Miss Mary Brown!

We will start with hers.  She has affectionately titles this one, "Publix Jukebox - You Got a Quarter?".

She further explains, "This guy was browsing the meat at Publix when I spied his coin slot peeping out of his pants. In the words of my child, 'That's disturbing'."

The next came from a quick peek at my blog tracker.  It has this neat ability to show the searches that brought them to the site in the first place.  All I have to say is, "People search for some strange things!".

Go ahead, take a look at the green searches!

That's right!  Chinese Ass Crack and Penis Statue.  Silly Canadians and Indonesians!That is all for now...

Have a great night!

Vehicular FoF...Edition...Heck, I Lost Count

We have two entries from Mary Brown.  When all else fails (no pun intended), Mary comes through in the end with some rare finds.  Her Full-On Fails go a little something like this:


"This is a shot from where I work. The parking is horrible and if there is no spot in this teeny lot we have to park a block away. Not something anyone wants to risk during the rainy season.


This guy must be saving the seat next to him for his BFF."

<3 Mary Brown

And people wonder why I drive a tiny silver lunchbox; I could totally squeeze in that!

Next on the FoF chopping block:

"Transformer car..


SWEET!"

<3 Mary Brown

Perhaps they are shooting "Transformers 4: The Dark Side of A Downsized Budget" in Fort Myers?

 Finally, the last gem comes from my drive home from work, courtesy of a red light:

Circa the 5th Grade via next gen texting lingo, Honk If U Are Horny in the dirt of that truck!

 You're welcome and have a great night!

Lost Time And The Wrong Feet

To catch up on the biggest Full-On Fail, let me start by explaining why it has taken me so long to get this thing moving.  At the beginning of July, I acquired some bizarre vestibular disturbance.  Yes, this is a huge fail for me of the most full-on proportions.  For anyone who does not know what that means, I will tell you.  It produces vertigo attacks.  LAME.

This leads me to my fail (FoF) of the day:

That's right!  It took me nearly 10 minutes of getting ready before I noticed this little difference.

While getting ready for a lunch date with Moundy, I had no idea my footwear was so Full-On Fail!  Chipped polish is just a secondary FoF! =P